Jump to     PRACTICES Building Intergenerational Relationships Serving Side by Side Building a “Young Adult Friendly” Congregation Panes of Perspective

Ministry Together with Young Adults

by ERICA BLEVINS NYE 

All pastors want to lead congregations that embrace both young and older generations. Strong congregational ministry with young adults can be one of the most challenging, yet fulfilling ways to celebrate the blessings of community. Below are foundational concepts to help build a congregation where younger and older generations serve in side-by-side mission.

Who Are Young Adults?

“Young adults” are generally people ages 18 to 35 who are experiencing the transitions that come with settling into adulthood. These transitions can include entering and attending higher education or entry-level jobs. They are exploring careers and lifestyle choices. Their closest relationships often shift through dating, new marriages, and early parenthood. Young adults are often mobile as these life transitions take them to new areas.

Young adults’ spiritual and disciple formation concerns are as diverse as their life stages and personalities. How to reach these generations with the gospel and how to serve in mission beside them often seems like a mystery. Yet congregations are uniquely situated to offer deeply relevant ministry to young adults in their important years of life-exploring. And young adult participation in congregational life and mission is crucial to help Community of Christ become who it is called to be.

This all begins with relationships.

Building Intergenerational Relationships

Helping the congregation become more relevant and attractive to young adults does not begin with adjusting congregational activities or changing worship styles (though these can be important). It starts by intentionally building friendships and trust between generations. Authentic Christian friendships are young adults’ most important draw to the faith community. Amid life transitions and exploration, young adults long for faithful, spiritually grounded relationships with people of all generations. They seek honest, stable friendships that extend beyond weekly worship and into their lives. Young adults truly respect the spiritual maturity of more experienced leaders. That includes pastors and congregational leaders as they can be the first to model the power of this connection.

Strong intergenerational friendships can help congregational ministries and mission be more relevant. Strong intergenerational friendships help the people of the congregation become personally sensitive to young adults’ missional and formational needs. In addition, the congregation becomes aware of the gifts young adults have to offer. Authentic friendships build trust within the congregation that can ease the tension of trying new ministries that might be more appealing to younger adults.

What can you as a congregation leader do to foster intergenerational relationships with young adults? The first step is to consider where your life intersects with young adults in and out of church. You may be surprised by how many young adults your life already connects with! Where are young adults often found in your community? Coffee shops, stores, exercise classes, schools, libraries? Think about ways people in your congregation could get to know them more personally. Asking young adults about their interests, skills, and spiritual perspectives is a great start. Or ask for their help with something you would like to learn. Listen generously without judging. And then be open to share about your own life in return. The bottom line is that ministry with young adults often begins by meeting them where they are. You cannot expect them to walk into the church building before you invest your love in them.

A second component of intergenerational relationships is faithfulness. Young adults have busy, unpredictable lives and they can be hard to catch. They are mobile, often relocating repeatedly for education, internships, employment, and other reasons. This often leaves the more stable partner in the friendship (usually the older one) to take the initiative to maintain the connection. This includes finding ways for the congregation to maintain contact and support for their young members who move away or are away from the congregation for extended periods of time. Knowing the congregation’s concern for them is faithful and enduring is a great gift to a young adult. It demonstrates Christ’s unconditional love reflected in the faith community.

Serving and Learning Together

Emerging intergenerational relationships with Jesus Christ challenge the congregation to respond in missional service and action together. Young adults are eager to make connections between their faith, spiritual relationships, and transformative mission. But many are unsure how to get involved or they feel they don’t have the skills. Pastors and other congregational leaders are key partners in helping young adults discover ways to participate in the congregation. After establishing friendship and trust, invite young adults to serve in mission side by side with you. They are more likely to participate if invited by a person they care about. Like everyone else, they learn best by trying new things with the encouraging guidance of a trusted friend who cares about their success. And they learn by watching those they respect.

Once a congregational leader personally knows the young adults’ interests and giftedness, work with them to discover what opportunities there are for them to serve and lead. It helps to make the entry points for serving in the congregation clear. Even if the young adults have grown up in the congregation, they may be looking at the church with fresh eyes as an adult. They may not automatically see where to jump in and help or how to propose a new idea. Clearly identifying opportunities to serve includes clarifying all the expectations of the roles. This can be a terrific opportunity for longtime leaders to consider their assumptions about how they typically go about ministries and what criteria are truly important to accomplish the mission. Make space for the young person to bring fresh vision to the ministry, while helping them understand how and why leaders handled the task in the past. Allow latitude for them to try and try again, until they learn.

Discipleship is a lifelong learning process. Pastors and congregational leaders are often responsible for ensuring that priesthood and members have ongoing opportunities to expand their capacity for service. Educational opportunities might include topics for revitalizing ministries the congregation already offers (for example, leading music in worship) and for learning new approaches to ministry (for example, models of small group interaction). Young adults are particularly receptive to quality education because many are learning for the first time. For them, nearly all learning experiences must include a hands-on, practice component. This includes education for new priesthood. For example, in a class about the sacraments, after exploring theology and policy, take time to walk through both performing and receiving the various sacraments. Intergenerational learning deepens trust.

“Young Adult Friendly” Congregations

Though authentic face-to-face friendships are many young adults’ biggest draw to the faith community, it is important to be sensitive to young adults’ special concerns about the mission and ministries of congregational life. First, young adults recognize that healthy congregations are active outside the church walls. They want to be part of mission-centered congregations that clearly impact their larger communities. And they expect that members will participate in one another’s lives. Pastors must constantly be reorienting the church toward active mission.

Second, young adults seek authentic, quality worship. It may be surprising to discover that not all young adults prefer “contemporary” style worship. In fact, young adults have less interest in the style of worship than they have in the quality. Quality worship is thoughtfully and creatively prepared. It is also an honest reflection of the congregation’s giftedness and passion for mission. Young adults are more comfortable in worship experiences that draw on the group’s strengths, rather than strain to conform to traditional expectations of a formal service. For example, interactive worship elements and sharing testimonies is appealing to many young adults because they reflect the blessings of intimate community shared in Community of Christ congregations.

Finally, young adult friendly congregations are sensitive to all relationship and family stages. Young parents feel welcome in churches where it is apparent that their children are welcome and cared for. Consider how childcare will be handled at all events, including worship and meetings. Openly discuss with parents how to approach childcare together in a way that is considerate of everyone. Clearly communicate childcare arrangements in advance so parents know what to expect. Church should be safe space for all generations to be present and participate.

Sensitivity to various relationship stages includes caring for both single young adults and couples. Postmodern young adult generations live in a world with different expectations of the nature and pace of intimate relationships than traditional expectations. They are sensitive to the judgment of older churchgoers who may disapprove of their perceived relationship situations. This does not mean that all relationship choices are “OK” and should be condoned by the congregation. It simply means that the congregation’s “default” position should be one of love and welcome, rather than one of judgment and criticism. Like all people, young adults long to be loved and accepted for who they are, wherever they are in life.

1. How can I nurture sincere relationships with young adults and encourage my congregation to do the same?
   
   Opportunities to meet and interact with young adults are frequent. The quality of an intergenerational friendship is not measured by whether someone regularly attends church, but by the authentic spirit of compassion and faithfulness that flows between people.
2. How could I invite young adults to serve beside me in my ministries?
   
   There are plenty of creative ways to involve another person in your responsibilities—from hospital visits, to spiritual formation, to preparing for business meetings. Young adults often already have a wealth of education and professional experience that could enhance your ministry. They bring fresh perspectives to the work. And they learn best by observing you and serving as a ministry partner. So, find out what their interests are and invite them to join you.
3. What systems are in place to ensure that all of our ministries are helpful for families?
   
   It can be helpful to consider every ministry the congregation offers and whether it includes a plan for welcoming children. If some do not, consider why. This can offer surprising insights about the congregation’s true intentions and priorities.

Note: This article is based on a report compiled from information collected at “Vision Project” gatherings. In President Veazey’s address to the church on April 5, 2009, “A Defining Moment,” the First Presidency committed to visit with young adults to capture their visions for Community of Christ’s mission and ministry. Over 30 “Vision Project” gatherings were held around the church from August 2009 through May 2011. Church leaders listened and took note as nearly 1,000 young adults shared their testimonies and perspectives. The insights gleaned and relationships built will continue to contribute to shaping the direction of Community of Christ.

		Building Intergenerational Relationships
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OBJECTIVE
To deepen friendships between older and younger people and to build understanding, companionship, and trust among generations.

PROCESS

• With your leadership team, make a list of young adults associated (active or not) with the congregation and consider how and who will reach out to each of them. Pray for each one regularly.
• How can you extend friendship to young adults you encounter outside the congregation? Practice those interactions and regularly share your testimonies about them with the congregation.
• Host intergenerational activities, both at regularly scheduled church events and in members’ homes. Personally invite younger and older adults to join in. Plan activities that involve teamwork and partnership. Include opportunities to exchange personal experiences and perspectives.
• Keep records of young adult members and friends who have moved away from the congregation to continue their education, pursue new jobs or volunteer opportunities, or are separated from the congregation by distance or time. Keep them included in congregational newsletters, prayer request updates, or through social media. Organize an event for people in the congregation to write personal letters to them. Pack and send care packages for holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions. Pray together for these young adults.
• Some older people are gifted at connecting with young adults, but may not be aware of it. Also, each priesthood office calls priesthood to connect to younger generations in special ways. As a pastor or congregational leader, be sensitive to people who you see have special potential for developing intergenerational relationships. Share with them your insight about that gift and encourage those members to intentionally make it part of their discipleship. Encourage them to share their testimonies about it with the congregation.

		Serving Side by Side
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OBJECTIVE
To build community and prepare young adult leaders for success by inviting young adult participation and leadership into the congregation.

PROCESS

• Invite young adults to serve on each congregational leadership team. Be clear about what they can bring to the ministry and your expectations for them.
• Make a list of congregational ministries. Talk with leaders and young adults about where they would feel comfortable partnering together on those ministries. Focus especially on priesthood members who could be motivated and encouraged by a teammate.
• When inviting a young adult to take on a new task, be sure that you or another leader spends time with them to hear their ideas and concerns about the role or task. If the role or task has a prior history in the congregation, give the young adult some background on how it evolved, how it has been done in the past, and what worked and what didn’t. If it is brand new, talk about how it fits with the mission initiatives and together set expectations for what results you hope to see. Be open to the young adult’s creative new perspectives.
• As pastors and leadership team members, you are the greatest advocates for new leaders. Check in with young adults regularly to be sure they are receiving the support they need.
• Consider ongoing education for ministry and mission in the congregation. Does it include hands-on components? Are the times and locations accessible for young adults? And, most importantly, consider how you and others can personally invite young adults to join with you in the learning opportunities.

		Building a “Young Adult Friendly” Congregation
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OBJECTIVE
To help the congregation become responsive to the young adult generation’s special needs and life concerns.

PROCESS

• Consider how childcare will be handled at all events, including worship services. Team with young parents to find solutions that work for both young families and others in the congregation. Make sure to follow the Child Protection Policy and have plenty of trained volunteers when offering childcare. Before each event clearly communicate what childcare options will be available. It really does take a village to raise a child!
• With your worship leaders ask, “Does the worship format honestly reflect the congregation’s personality and gifts?” How can worship planners best use the congregation’s personality and gifts? The congregation may already be using elements in worship that it is not well-equipped to handle. What elements could the congregation let go? Young adults appreciate worship that feels “authentic” to who they are.
• Continue to reorient your congregation toward missional action. Be open to creative ways that young adults can take the lead in the congregation’s missional efforts. Be their advocate.

• Are there people who are passionate about a call to offer ministry to special demographics of young adults (such as young couples, singles, parents, students) through your congregation? Find, develop, and enable them.

		Panes of Perspective
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OBJECTIVE
To design and plan activities, ministry, and mission by use of current trends that impact ministry and mission.

PROCESS
Use the following “Panes of Perspective” chart to imagine each trend as a glass pane in a window that helps us see more clearly how to connect with younger generations. Use the following questions as you plan ministry and events:

1. Is this ministry or event something we could empower someone or a group to design and implement?
2. Does this ministry or event foster a process of shared discovery and collaborative planning rather than being tightly defined?
3. What relevance does this ministry or event have to the real problems people face in their neighborhoods and world?
4. How do we connect with those who find it physically difficult to get to church? Are there ways, other than being physically present, for them to connect to the congregation’s ministry? (Are virtual communities, such as Facebook, possibilities?)
5. How does this event or ministry cultivate genuine opportunity for meaningful relationships to develop?
6. How does this event or ministry reach a diversity of backgrounds (e.g., ethnic, social, economic, age, single, family)?
7. How does this event or ministry help create an alternative future of hope and healing?
8. How does this event or ministry connect individuals for opportunities to make a positive difference locally or globally?

PROCESS TIP
Remember to frame the ministry and events under one of the five mission initiatives (Invite People to Christ; Abolish Poverty, End Suffering; Pursue Peace on Earth; Develop Disciples to Serve; Experience Congregations in Mission).

Panes of Perspective Chart

Trend (Context)	Comments	Implications for the Congregation
Generational Changes in Leadership	Younger generations have leadership in other organizations. They have a different approach to and expectations of leadership. They are collaborative, fast paced, and insist on sharing in solutions.	In general, congregational processes are often slow, can be hierarchical, and not as participative in decision making. Younger adults find this frustrating when compared with their professional careers and organizations.
Clashing of World Views—Modern and Postmodern Perspectives	Although difficult to define precisely, “postmoderns” see the interconnectedness of all of life (people, environment, religions). They don’t draw lines between sacred and secular, Earth and heaven, etc. Spirituality is a journey—not indoctrination or holding a set of beliefs. Questions are as critical as answers because they lead toward beauty and truth.	Congregational life tends to be an indoctrination model to promote beliefs. Churches and denominations in the U.S. have become more about having right beliefs than a way of life that impacts the world. Sunday mornings in many congregations don’t foster exploration and only allow dialogue within tightly settled doctrinal boundaries. The congregation’s tightly defined worldview does not match reality for many younger adults.
Dismissing the Irrelevant	Younger generations have little patience for institutions more concerned about tradition, rituals, and self-preservation than responding to real human need and suffering in the world.	The average congregation for many younger adults seems out of touch with what is going on in the world. Real neighborhood, national, and world issues are rarely discussed in light of the good news. There is often a serious disconnect between Jesus’ radical message of the kingdom and the activities and ministries of the congregation.
Impact of Technology	Younger generations are connected to what is going on and are used to quick access to information.	Congregational delivery systems are slow and often in only one mode. For example, education is often only delivered in workshops or classes.
Genuine Relationships	Deep, authentic, and meaningful relationships are critical.	Most congregations don’t programmatically foster meaningful relationships. Congregational space is often not relational space (e.g., pews, hard chairs, sterile buildings). Older generations are often hesitant to disclose personal concerns and are uncomfortable with the knowledge younger adults share about one another.
Increasing Diversity	Many if not most neighborhoods are changing with a significant increase in ethnic, cultural, and economic diversity.	Congregations are not prepared to relate to changing neighborhoods. There are significant needs and opportunities that require more language skills and new levels of cultural awareness to relate effectively to a changing population.
Participation in Creating Reality	Being a part of the solution is important! Younger generations do not want to accept the status quo. They want to participate in meaningful change.	Congregations are often set in their ways. Many are happy with things as they are and don’t understand why things need to change. Some would say, “it was good enough for me, why is it not good enough for them?”
Meaning and Connection	Overall, younger generations are seeking to be part of something where they find meaningful connection with others who share common interests and values.	Many congregations don’t have a clear focus or mission. Most efforts seem to be directed toward making Sunday morning happen. Many members have drifted apart over time and there is not a sense of common purpose and community that once was present.

PROCESS TIP
Discussing this practice with the pastor’s leadership team, priesthood, or congregation, can yield insights into how the congregation might engage more effectively with young adults.