Easter Morning

Testimony by Karen Freberg
March 2008 Herald

Easter is always a day of such joy, amazement, and thanksgiving. I have found it so interesting each year to consider how Mary Magdalene felt when Jesus spoke to her, as recorded in John 20:15–16. (“Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you looking for?” “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, ‘Mary!’” And Mary responded, “Rabbouni [teacher]!”)

Mary must have felt as though her feet had left the ground, that her heart was going to burst, that her words were lost and her joy was spilling out of her eyes. I suspect she ran the whole distance to share the incredible news with the disciples.

Jesus had forgiven her and removed demons from her heart. She was a dedicated follower, and the sorrow and grief at the time of his death must have been more than she could understand or handle. But now, the feelings of thanksgiving and such joy were overwhelming.

After becoming a pastor in Ohio, I was always expected to speak on Easter Sunday. Each year my heart was filled with such warmth and joy the words would just spill out and I would compose a sermon in just a few hours. And I could never stop smiling as I spoke.

Then everything changed. On January 19, 1995, our son, Kent, died of a stroke in his brain stem. He was thirty-one years old. He had had a stroke a year-and-a-half before that and told us at Christmas 1994 that he only had 2 percent left to recover and he would be whole. And then he died. I became so angry and consumed with sorrow and grief that I could hardly live life. I lived in darkness, and a piece of my heart had gone with Kent. All of these feelings and emotions just would not go away, and darkness consumed me more and more. How could Kent have recovered and then, only a few days later, die? It just could not be!

We got to Easter of that year and the congregation expected me to speak. I said “No!” and they said “Yes!” I tried for days to find words to say and simply could not. I was certain God had left my life and that the Spirit had disappeared. There was just nothing to help me. I was lost.

I went to bed on Saturday evening without a word on paper and set the alarm for 5:00 a.m. in hope that something would come.

The alarm sounded and I rolled out of bed. When my feet touched the floor, I looked up, and there stood Jesus with his hand in Kent’s hand. Kent said, “I am so loved, I am completely well, and I love you Mom.”

I went into the study, dropped to my knees, repented, and prayed for forgiveness. My heart was warmed and I now knew that God had been with me through all the anger especially and had been giving me the strength to live and to accomplish all my responsibilities. I also knew I was loved, cared for, and comforted. And I was so thankful to know in my heart that Kent was in the loving arms of Jesus.

I sat down at the computer and in half an hour had a sermon filled with more joy and hope and a greater understanding than ever before. The Spirit was in the words, and in the thoughts, and in the worship service. The vision of Jesus was in my heart and mind during that Easter day and all Easters since.

Easter has new meaning for me. Salvation and resurrection are a promise and a gift of Jesus. He experienced life, death, and eternal life. Jesus’ arms will hold us as we experience life, death, and eternal life. God’s everlasting presence is a promise in our lives whether we are living through joy or grief. I am so very thankful.