June 2006

I believe that home ministry is foundational to the development and continuation of strong interpersonal and family relationships within the church. This is particularly important in a relational church such as ours that powerfully emphasizes the joys and benefits of human interactions under the umbrella of God’s love and places correspondingly less emphasis on matters of doctrine and creed.

My own personal conversion came about many years ago because I was accepted exactly as I was (and that was not easy for members of that congregation) in a small town congregation many years ago. It was the love, acceptance, and friendship shown to me without condition that allowed me to feel that I could join this group and feel at home there. These feelings were nurtured and developed through the use of home ministry. It was only later that I began to study books about the church and engage in questions about what the church stood for that allowed me to experience a second conversion based on intellectual and doctrinal aspects of the church. Without the positive experiences I had on the acceptance and emotional level, I would not have remained involved long enough to have the later intellectual experiences that deepened my conversion commitment.

I use the term “Home Ministry” rather than the term “Priesthood Visiting”, which some people find to be intimidating and uncomfortable. Other phrases that I have found may be used without having negative connotations are “Home Visiting” and “Friendly Visiting”. The term “Priesthood Visiting” implies that all of the visitors are ordained, which is not always the only or best approach to fulfilling a visiting need. I very strongly advocate the “going two by two” approach, for reasons of safety for all concerned. Finally, although I use the term “they” in my comments, I am meaning to include families that consist of several members or one, traditional or non-traditional.

I will focus my comments on three major issues related to home ministry.

As mentioned above, many people feel intimidated when asked if they would like to have a home visit. They think they may be singled out for criticism from those in authority and not see it as an effort to be supportive to them in their lives. It is usually only through experiencing a visit or two that they understand its positive aspects. I also believe that the benefits of visiting can be accomplished in many ways and that if it becomes an “official program”, then many people may choose not be involved. It is better to have a successful program of visiting that is not designated as such than to not have visiting within the congregation at all.

Many potential visitors are unwilling to become involved in visiting since they fail to recognize their many skills, gifts, and talents that are useful in interacting with other people. Some of these spiritual gifts are those of friendliness, hospitality, genuine concern for others, and teaching ability. Training should be made available to those who are being asked to become involved. This training may be conducted by someone in your area who has experience with home visits. Another option is to ask your mission center Bishop/Financial Officer to offer Aaronic Ministries courses, which discuss visiting, in your area. A vital aspect of support for new visitors is working with an experienced visitor as a mentor, especially for the first several visits. This can save untold anxiety and feelings of confusion during these early visits.

My experience is that there is a need to be intentional in planning for the visit. What are we going to speak to the family about? Do we want to discuss the activities of the congregation for the next month or talk about the fact that we would like them to teach a children’s class? Just showing up at the door without an idea of what you want to discuss is not a productive use if anyone’s time. Each of the visitors should spend some personal time in prayer for the visit and it is highly recommended that the visitors offer a prayer together before arriving at the designated place for the visit.

Some say that visiting in people’s homes is no longer a good option, especially in urban settings. I don’t generally agree with that view, but if that is seen as an obstacle, go to a public place such as Starbucks or MacDonald’s, or to a public park if the weather is conducive and there are small children involved.

A key point is to maintain confidentiality at all times, especially about personal issues shared in confidence. Nothing can more quickly destroy personal relationships built up by sharing in visits than gossiping about personal issues to others in the congregation.

Involve people of all ages in a visit. It is vitally important to involve children in a visit if at all possible. Make sure not to overlook or ignore them and make every effort to actively engage them. If you can, have one of the visitors prepared to be involved with the children as their primary focus of the visit, while the other visitor interacts with the adults as their priority. Adults will see interactions with their children as very positive and will react favorably to this. Remember that often children become those in the family that are enthusiastic about church and connect with its activities and the parents become involved because of the excitement of their children.

My personal experience shows how important seeing and embracing the ministry of children can be to visiting. When I was newly ordained, I began to visit a very faithful elderly member who was terminally ill. My seven-year-old daughter begged to come with me, since she knew the lady well from church. I resisted at first since I didn’t want to place her in a situation she couldn’t deal with. When I relented, my role quickly changed to performing sacramental ministry with the lady and observing the Holy Spirit working between my young daughter and the lady as they played games and made cards, etc. I was less the minister than the recipient of ministry. The power of ministry in children is deep.

The people who are supported through visiting are generally very appreciative of the care and love shown to them. The level of trust that is developed in the small group setting of a regular visiting relationship becomes very high if the visitors and the family visited are committed to this relationship. This environment then becomes a safe place where the problems and issues of life can be discussed freely and openly.

Christian literature says there are two important ways that we can approach God in groups and there is a need for both in a mature spiritual life. Corporate large group worship is important for worship, learning, listening to the Spoken Word, group singing, and developing a sense of the larger community. Yet, it is equally important to be involved in a small group where trust can be developed, a safe place is available to discuss personal issues, and feelings of deep friendship and spiritual intimacy can be developed. Home ministry can provide that small group environment.

People may become more committed to the activities of their congregation if they see that this will be helpful to them and their families in living out their life journey in a more positive manner. Many may want to use the church as a vehicle to express their desire for service to their community, helping to develop more programs that may be offered by the congregation.

When people are newly involved with the church, for the first three years they still have a lot of contacts outside the church. Often these new people are given jobs, such as cleaning the chapel, that limit and don’t utilize their personal contacts. If they are involved in home ministry during this time period, then they have a positive outlet (with a mentor) to express their new enthusiasm for the church to their non-church friends. This can be beneficial to all concerned and further enhance the commitment of many.

Those who have been leaders for many years should also be visited in their homes. Often visitors ignore pastors, evangelists, and seventies and their families since they believe these people are already strong and don’t need this support. We need to remember that all of us in the church can benefit by expressions of love and care by others and that leaders and their families are not exempt from needing home ministry. They are often among the most appreciative in being thought of by visitors.

When visiting, we need to be cognizant of situations where we may be out of our comfort zone and lack training and expertise. Examples of these are issues of mental health and marital relationships. In these cases, we need to refer to trained professionals when it becomes obvious that we can’t provide effective support.

I believe that ordained Aaronic ministers are best suited to home ministry involving pastoral care and family ministries, while ordained Melchesidec ministers are best suited to home ministry involving outreach ministries. I say this since this is specifically what they are called to do in these priesthood offices.

However, I clearly remember Jerry Runkle saying to me that, although the above is Plan A, in many areas we need to go to Plan B or C if Plan A is not working. This means to me that anyone that is interested in home ministry and is willing to work at it on a regular basis should be encouraged to do so. Each person is called and given gifts to utilize.

One approach that I was involved with in the past centered on having each Aaronic minister focused on involvement with three to five families. He/she was like a “personal pastor” of that small group and spent most of their ministerial time caring deeply for the needs of that group. By shepherding a smaller flock, the minister had the ability to focus more specifically on the needs of each person or family. One problem is that some ministers assigned to this role took it seriously, but since others did not, there was a lack of consistency within the congregation. Another problem was that since this model was priesthood based, some saw it as an “official program” of the congregation and didn’t accept it completely since it was not a voluntary home ministry model.

I believe that home ministry is a greatly underutilized ministry of the church today, especially in more industrialized countries. I believe there is great potential for strengthening interpersonal and family relationships both within the church and in reaching out to communities that we interact with beyond the walls of the church. I also believe that this ministry is very helpful among both those who are currently engaged in the activities and ministries of the church and those who are not yet involved, but are seeking a place to find a more meaningful and satisfying lifestyle

I am glad to be part of the family ministry taskforce, a group that is striving to make home ministry a more useful and widely used tool in the life of the current and future church.